Day 5 - Thoughts regarding inner turmoil about your sexuality; Did you have any? Did it escalate to self-injury or suicidal thoughts?
This is a tough question.
There was a lot of inner turmoil, and a lot of soul searching. I was convinced I was the only person in town who felt this way. I knew my mother hated lesbians; she was being sexually harassed by a lesbian boss at the time.
And the trans side... I knew I wanted to be a man. I knew I wasn't a woman, and I certainly wasn't anything like the empty-headed bimboes my own age who couldn't see past the next date.
No suicidal thoughts, beyond the usual level from general depression.
But self harm? My entire sexuality is and was an exercise in it. It was all targeted at the most female parts of my body. Pins, hot wax, Tabasco sauce, and other things, My entire life has been a half-hearted effort at destroying my erogenous zones under the guise of masturbation.
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