30 Days of Pride: Day 10

Day 10 - What does marriage mean to you?


Marriage is two or more people contracting to share their lives.

My goddess is the patron of marriage. I am for it. I think it is a wonderful thing if people want to be in it. I've watched people destroy each other in marriages, and I've seen them be radiantly happy and more than they were as individuals.

I don't think it needs to be heterosexual. I don't think it needs to be monogamous. I do think it needs to be limited to consenting adults.

Here is where it gets complicated...

(Gets? I hear you saying. I haven't figured out your gender or orientation.  That's okay, I'm confused too. I'm a transguy who used to be a byke, and is now a bottom eunuch, so you're getting POV of teen lesbian angst, closeted bisexuality and transition)


I have two husbands. Mudd, I married in the conventional fashion, white dress, church wedding and all. We were much too young and have stayed together for almost 30 years, through numerous moves, 4 kids, several job changes, and life-changing injury.

My junior husband used to be my girlfriend. 

We got married by accident at Festival of Souls in 2015. (fair warning, that link goes to TV Tropes)

The Blog post about it:

It's one of those fannish tropes we see all the time.

The characters partake in some alien ritual and end up married. 

It's kinda scary when it happens for real.

In October, I went to Festival of Souls.

I needed the ancestor ritual and the Labyrinth. I'd lost people this year.

As I walked into the labyrinth, I felt nothing. It was nothing but dark, lined with candles. Last time, I visited with my grandmothers. This time, I was the only person in the world.

A friend later said as I passed her and a couple other people the candles went out in my wake and the temperature dropped a good ten to twenty degrees. And the others noticed it.

I made it to the center. There was a firepit and incense, my daughter and some of my friends. I sat down because everything hurt, I was feeling and hearing nothing, and I was done.

After a bit, Gabriel Belthir took my hand and we walked out of the labyrinth, together, hand in hand.

In some traditions, including his, that is enough to make you married.

So I have a second husband, concurrent with the first.

It was a religious formalization of what had been happening for a while. It's a heavy responsibility, and a great joy, with both of them.

Hail Hera. May all who wish be able to marry and live in that love.

#30DaysofPride