April Fool in my house

Pregnancy jokes are a family tradition in the Sparrow clan. Except that they are almost never jokes.

Today, I got two texts, from Obi and Oli (oldest son, youngest daughter) both reading "Congratulations, Grandma." I expected, but never got one from oldest daughter Bun. (she forgot)

Turns out, not a joke. And there are ultrasounds to prove it.

Obi-Wan Chrisobi has a girlfriend, and she is due Nov 9. Isha (Lucia) is a c-store manager and has a son who will be 4 in about a week.

I knew they were serious when Obi took her to meet his grandpa.

They aren't getting married, because it will foul up the insurance and Chris' disability.
But they are together and serious, and will get married when their finances are better.


So, the next generation arrives in November, a Scorpio to start things off.

I'm excited and a little scared and a lot worried.

A most difficult week

I worked Sunday and left work dragging. Still had to grocery shop and plan and do laundry and all the second shift stuff.

Monday I was off. And it was glorious. I kind of goofed around most of it, taking things easy.

Tuesday was NOT a good day.
When the bubblegum machine hits the jackpot in your rearview at 430 AM, you know it's bad. The cop realized his error when he saw the middle aged white schoolbus driver. Who actually lived on the street he had tailed me from.
This was a nuisance stop, a driving while black bust if possible. But he was of an age all he saw was Mama going to work behind the wheel. I got a warning for my license plate light being out.

The weather has been in my joints and I got stuck in my recliner. I think I need to elevate it about 4 inches. After 5 attempts, the guys brought me over a dining chair. I levered myself into that and stood, creakily, from there.

Then the toilet needed plunging but i lacked the strength to manage. Jon finished it up and I went to bed in tears, terrified but feeling this frail at 51.

Wednesday, money we had been waiting for arrived, so that was good, but stressful. Many bills were paid and the monthly budget hole was eliminated. And I noticed a pimple on the inside of my right forearm. It didn't pop, but put out hard stuff. I left it alone after it was empty.

Thursday sucked.
I had an accident with the schoolbus. Barely brushed the corner of my neighbor and knocked my mirror off-kilter.
And there was a safety meeting.
I was over-emotional and felt like crying all evening. My wife was making Mood Soup, a vile concoction that is the best thing in the world for PMS. So I went home with Gabriel for a bowl of it.
And promptly fell up the steps of the veranda.
The neighborhood got an earful about them being cold and wet and hard and cold and hard and ow and wet. With a lot of "fuck" interspersed.
The soup wasn't even ready.

I went home, laid our my clothes and took Vincent (my stuffed panda with a unicorn horn and wings) to bed.

Friday,
The pimple had swollen and gone pus-filled and had a saucer sized red raised area around it. Spider bite. I spent 20 minutes trying to get an appointment with my doctor who couldn't see me for 2 weeks. After work I went to Urgent Care. I'm on powerful antibiotics. I called off work today.

I also didn't get home until 11 PM, having spent 16 hours in Collierville

It's been a week.
But we've got plenty of food instead of an empty pantry, and our bills are paid until the middle of next month. I'm not unhappy, just a bit uncomfortable.

Tumblr thinks this is porn

Tumblr has new policies and I got flagged. A lot.

This one just amuses me.

Screencaps from the Smallville episode Talisman Season 3. Okay, I’m obsessive. 

That first is a very provocative setup, looked at from a Kink PoV. Hands clasped behind his back. This is a common waiting position. it is strong and contemplative body language. It is a mark of confidence. It’s also a comfortable way to wait. But juxtapose that with the only color in that part of the scene, the red ropes. Behind the back is also the position for handcuffs. it is a display position for bondage.

And that scene goes right into a conversation where EVERYTHING sounds like a triple entendre. It has a very coded feeling to it, probably given the actor’s age, and is almost a dance of seduction. The way he lingers over certain words, including the lengthy pause before “special” makes the average viewer want a shower.

 

 I also love the shot of Clark (who has nearly bled to death the night before) sleeping between his parents. And the red blanket and Martha’s blue one and Jonathan’s white shirt. Color is such an important part of this show.

The scenes at the Kwache burial grounds are one of the few times we see Lionel in strong natural lighting. He is a creature of the indoors, the office, the mansion. Even at Lex’s funeral, he it was an overcast day. The picture on the last row make me wibble. The way he fingers the leather on his wrists. This is surely not meant to be quite so suggestive, implying he is one of these men who hold so much control by day that he finds relief on rare occasion by giving it all up. 

And this is me being gratuitous. because Hot.

Too much analysis of 10 year old TV viewed as coded porn.




Anyway, Tumblr has me reviewing a bunch of old posts, everything from Halloween shots to a sexy muse photodump. This one just needed to be saved for the commentary.

Cooking thoughts from Sunday Night

I'm trying the Stew in a Freezer Bag thing, in hopes of reducing our frozen pizza consumption and increasing our vegetable intake. Also not having to outwit my menfolk to get fed. If it can be thawed overnight, thrown in the crock-pot and cooked all day, it is more likely to be made than anything complicated.

And as always when I hit the onion, (which is now, my poor keyboard will smell of onions for a while) I quoted Steven Brust: "I'm a Jhereg. We sell onions."

I went and looked it up. It's from Yendi and is kind of the capper to an extended metaphor about life being like an onion, and how some of the different castes react to finding a bad spot in an onion (or their life)

All I can find online is this:
“When I say that life is like an onion, I mean this: if you don't do anything with it, it goes rotten. So far, that's no different from other vegetables. But when an onion goes bad, it can either do it from the inside, or the outside. So sometimes you see one that looks good, but the core is rotten. Other times, you can see a bad spot on it, but if you cut that out, the rest is fine. Tastes sharp, but that's what you paid for, isn't it?” --Yendi

There's more about how one group will never notice it going bad and another will throw out the whole barrel over a single spot. The final bit is "I'm a Jhereg. We sell onions." Which is true and funny, both because they are merchants, but also thieves and assassins. (the book circles back to the metaphor for the end scene as I recall)

And now I know what I'm reading after Sara M. Harvey's Music City and Diane Duane's Young Wizards. Because as much as I quote Vlad, it's been a couple decades since I visited with him.

Planning for the week ahead

Monday:
put insurance in car
Work
Gym
Call law firm
call unemployment
Egg salad lunch
work
burritos or pizza
Jon's first day of the new semester!

Tuesday
Work
Pb lunch
sort out Patreon
write
work
pizza or burritos for dinner

Wednesday
work
gym
egg salad
work
pork stew

Thursday
work
gym
PB
work
chicken alfredo

Friday
work
gym
tuna salad
work
??

Saturday
9-1 Michaels
grocery shop

Goals for the Week:
1 cleaning activity per day (3 days last week, let's improve)
Play the 3 high ticket tournaments (i keep missing the 6:30)
Bed after the 830 tournament, set up the stuff and go read (paper book) until 9:15 (hollow laugh)
Read 1 book (2/3rds done)
Watch 1 movie (nope)
Finish lovey (nope)
Write 3000 words (hollow laugh)
Edit Manicurists up to land of the dead. (I got a clean copy to work from)
Make all my Swag points for the daily bonus (check!)

Planning for the Week Ahead

Goals for the Week:
1 cleaning activity per day
Play the 3 high ticket tournaments
Bed after the 830 tournament, set up the stuff and go read (paper book) until 9:15
Read 1 book
Watch 1 movie
Finish lovey
Write 3000 words
Edit Manicurists up to land of the dead.
Make all my Swag points for the daily bonus


Sunday:
Grocery shop
Work (leave at 9) 10-2:30
Dinner: ham and scalloped potatoes
laundry
make lunch
lay out for Monday

Monday:
Work
Register Jon for School
work
tax shop
pizza

Tuesday:
Work
gym/lunch/write
work
burritos for dinner

Wednesday:Work
gym/lunch/write
work
frito pie

Thursday
Work
gym/lunch/write
work
Aldis
out

Friday
Work
gym/lunch/write
work
Aldis
Mexican turkey

Saturday
Michaels 9-1
Meal plan
housework

Early January randomness

I am a man with many things on my mind.

My youngest graduates this year. Ollie is chronically ill and often has days she cannot get out of bed. I worry about how she will do with college and with life.

***
I internalized a lot of misogyny in my teens. I still have a lot of it. I hold myself superior to the women at work because I don't take 5-7 minutes in the bathroom. I've always tried to be quick in the bathroom to keep up with the guys who don't have to undress. I felt pressured to not keep them waiting on the woman.

I find as I mentally transition more, I want less to do with women. I don't want to be around them or socialize with them. I barely want to talk to them, outside of work. I haven't felt like this since college. (I went to an engineering school for a reason and a 5:1 male:female ratio was one)

I especially don't want to be around transwomen. Not only do the hormones make them crazy, as they do all adolescents, they are negation of what I am and am becoming.

***
Exposure to people unlike you does not necessarily spark empathy and reduce prejudice.

***

Side-hustling myself silly for a vacation is feeling ridiculous in the light of our actual finances. I can't do anything about those. I'm working 7 days a week as is.

***

I have no motivation whatsoever. Not to clean or write or craft. I need to find my blue yarn and finish the lovey.

***
When I was a Christian, I wondered how God could love such an awful person. As a pagan, the gods use my awfulness as part of my task. It's unpleasant.

***

A discussion came up on facebook about how "nice" is often just a cover. I like the idea I picked up on Tumblr: nice comes from the head and is about what will make the person look best. Kind is from the heart, and is concerned for the other person. Manners are a matter of habit and make people easier to live with.

I have none of the three.

***
Took the kids to see Labyrinth at the IMAX. Still sorting out why this movie, which should be very squicky, is not. I've come up with 2 things: everyone's sexual orientation is David Bowie or it's actually all about consent, which is quite healthy for an 80's film about female sexual awakening. He does nothing until she asks him to take the child, and when she tells him a definitive NO (you have no power over me), everything ends.