Some men don't think hygiene is masculine. Me, I run with a Playboy/Old Hollywood masculine performance, where how you clean up and how you smell is an important part of being a man.
Start with a thorough shower: hair washed, pits washed, crotch and rear washed and all the rest afterward. I suggest Dial. It's a good, basic clean scent. Irish Spring is nice if you feel fancier. Suave is fine. I like Ocean Mist and Everlasting Sunshine myself.
Many men are afraid of cologne. Some of them think it's too femme. Some used to overdo it and are leery now, and some, like Mudd, just never got in the habit. That's fine. As long as you're clean, the cologne is extra. But it can be the extra touch that makes the outfit, or the moment or the date. People remember scents back in the reptile brain. It's why I suggest it for transmen.
I have several scents I very much love. Some come from the department store. Some come from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.
Some of these are classics, aka Dad cologne, and suitable for us older gentlemen.
Old Spice is a classic for a reason. My grandfathers both wore it. My dad wears it sometimes. It seems old-fashioned and simple. It's anything but. The scent contain: orange, lemon, spice, clary sage, aldehyde, cinnamon, carnation, geranium, jasmine, heliotrope, pimiento berry, vanilla, musk, cedar, frankincense, benzoin, tonka, ambergris
Aramis was my generation's Axe. Apply lightly. Bergamot, clary sage, myrtle, clove, patchouli, sandalwood, vetiver and tree moss.
English Leather is another classic. This is the one you swiped from your dad when you had a big date. It's bergamot, lavender, lemon, orange, rosemary, honey, iris, rose, ceder musk, tonka bean, leather and vetiver.
Dark Obsession is the modern one that makes me feel very sexy. Brazilian green mandarin, guarana, absinthe, French clary sage, fir balsam, white vetiver, Madagascar vanilla, labdanum and suede
Black Phoenix does pure scent oil, They have a wide variety. My favorites:
Highwayman. This is bottled sex, if you can stand smelling like burned weeds for about 5 minutes while the top notes evaporate and settle. It goes to a smokey leather floral. Vetiver with gardenia, blood red rose, night-blooming jasmine, a dash of cinnamon and a faint hint of leather.
Wulric the Wolfman. I like this as an everyday sort of scent. It's chocolaty and herbal, which is weird but kinda hot: cocoa absolute, French vanilla, birch tar, lavender, bourbon vetiver, wild musk, cardamom husk, clary sage, and cistus (rockrose).
Old Scratch. This is for the occasions when I must dress well, not formally, and own the room. A lavender fougere with tonka, amber, rosewood and a whiff of diabolical patchouli.
The Bow and Crown of Conquest. If I had an office job, this would be my go-to scent for wearing with a suit: sage, carnation and cedar with lavender, vanilla, white musk and leather.
There is a lot of ingredient overlap in what I like. I suggest, if you like scents, experimenting around with some imp ears from Black Phoenix (BPAL) and learning what each note smells like. Some are easier than others.
Everything smells different on different skin chemistry, but good notes to start with are leather, musk, vetiver, vanilla, and sandalwood.
Go out, look good and smell nice.
Friday, July 27, 2018
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Getting help for a problem I don't have
All right, so here's the scoop.
I have a truck line interested (filling out I9 paperwork tomorrow) but I have to have a Substance Abuse Program Certificate before I can be hired.
But Nicky, I hear you saying, YOU? A substance abuser?
No, I'm not and that is where the problem begins to thicken.
In October of 2012, I drove auto parts for Schneider. I had a sleeper cab and a 28' pup trailer with lift gate. I unloaded parts ranging from windshield wipers to engine blocks, often without mechanical assistance. I drove from West Memphis AR to Kennet MO (flat land) and then up into the mountains to Hardy AR.
My work day started at 1 AM. I was required by law to sleep 4 hours a night with my CPAP. I never got much more than that though, because of the hours. I was sleep-deprived enough I had regular hallucinations in the early morning hours. My most common was a 2-story house made of an apple.
Like this but with an upstairs.
On October 22, I was particularly sleep deprived. My girl Cat, who has ADHD and take Adderall for it, was riding along. When I began yelling at the apple for appearing five miles too early, she began to worry. When I hit the rumble strip for the third time in two minutes, she offered me an adderall, since caffeine wasn't adequate.
I took it. Knowing I was doing wrong but knowing there were mountains coming and knowing rolling down the side of one was NOT on my agenda. (Also that long, steep, narrow bridge at Black Rock loomed large)
I managed to finish my run, but I got called for a random drug test that day. (I have my suspicions it was NOT random and one of the drivers I delivered to said something)
On Oct 26 I was fired for amphetamine use, since it was NOT my prescription.
Since then, I have not driven a truck. Every truck line I called said "go through a substance abuse program." I didn't need one. I wasn't going to do it.
We've been struggling a lot.
And I finally got over myself enough to go and do the SAP program. $450 to get me a job that pays $800/week. I think that's fair.
So two three-day weeks, and I am good to drive again. The problem is when you say you're there for SAP, but you don't have a problem, that's ALL KINDS of red flags to your shrink.
I don't care. I'll work the program and get the job.
I have a truck line interested (filling out I9 paperwork tomorrow) but I have to have a Substance Abuse Program Certificate before I can be hired.
But Nicky, I hear you saying, YOU? A substance abuser?
No, I'm not and that is where the problem begins to thicken.
In October of 2012, I drove auto parts for Schneider. I had a sleeper cab and a 28' pup trailer with lift gate. I unloaded parts ranging from windshield wipers to engine blocks, often without mechanical assistance. I drove from West Memphis AR to Kennet MO (flat land) and then up into the mountains to Hardy AR.
My work day started at 1 AM. I was required by law to sleep 4 hours a night with my CPAP. I never got much more than that though, because of the hours. I was sleep-deprived enough I had regular hallucinations in the early morning hours. My most common was a 2-story house made of an apple.
Like this but with an upstairs.
On October 22, I was particularly sleep deprived. My girl Cat, who has ADHD and take Adderall for it, was riding along. When I began yelling at the apple for appearing five miles too early, she began to worry. When I hit the rumble strip for the third time in two minutes, she offered me an adderall, since caffeine wasn't adequate.
I took it. Knowing I was doing wrong but knowing there were mountains coming and knowing rolling down the side of one was NOT on my agenda. (Also that long, steep, narrow bridge at Black Rock loomed large)
I managed to finish my run, but I got called for a random drug test that day. (I have my suspicions it was NOT random and one of the drivers I delivered to said something)
On Oct 26 I was fired for amphetamine use, since it was NOT my prescription.
Since then, I have not driven a truck. Every truck line I called said "go through a substance abuse program." I didn't need one. I wasn't going to do it.
We've been struggling a lot.
And I finally got over myself enough to go and do the SAP program. $450 to get me a job that pays $800/week. I think that's fair.
So two three-day weeks, and I am good to drive again. The problem is when you say you're there for SAP, but you don't have a problem, that's ALL KINDS of red flags to your shrink.
I don't care. I'll work the program and get the job.
Thursday, July 12, 2018
[Pagan] [Family] [Trans] Adventures of ALL sorts
Three AM phone calls suck. Pretty universally.
I hadn't had one since December of 14, when my sister called to let me know Mom had finally let go.
I got one yesterday from a stranded child.
My oldest, Obi-Wan Chrisobi, was visiting folks this summer. He went to KC and saw my dad, went to Chicago and saw a friend, and went to Columbus and spent a couple days with Mudd and his father. (Mudd is in Ohio, taking care of his dad while Sandy is in Montana.)
And late Tuesday evening, he started for Memphis to see his sibs before he went home. He didn't quite make Elizabethtown KY when the transmission on his Chevy Spark gave out. So, at 3 AM, I got up (after 2 hrs of sleep), made U-haul reservations in Nashville, loaded Jon in the car and went. Jonner drove part of the way to Nashville, his first night highway driving.
Why Nashville? Because I didn't know exactly where in Kentucky he was stranded, with no town nearby. It made sense. Until he got a tow in Elizabethtown. Had I been thinking, I would have canceled the Nashville U-haul and gotten one in E-town. I wasn't. And I know Nashville a little, and E-town not at all.
So we got the trailer, and rattled and clanked and jounced 150 miles more.
The boys loaded the car and we got some food at WalMart and headed back home.
It was a long 350 miles.
But we got to Memphis about 7, and dropped the Spark at the Chevy dealership. We went home and I returned the U-haul today.
***
In other news, I may be due for an Eldering. I did not want a croning because I was not yet in menopause. Now I appear to be.
In June of 1980, my period made its first appearance. Thus began a monthly descent into hell.
I spent most of the 90s pregnant or nursing, and my cycle was suppressed.
This June, I spotted for two days.
This month, the full moon is past and the new has come and gone. I always cycle between them.
Nothing.
***
Have also been thinking about the transition. Right now, I'm still hanging out in genderqueer space, and feeling fine about it. Part of me wants desperately to be a tattooed, motor-cycle riding, diesel-driving, badass grandma. Part of me is still "I'm Han fucking Solo and what are you gonna do about it?" These parts are not mutually exclusive.
So for now, I stay in the mushy middle of genderqueer and bisexuality.
***
Also, if you got a LinkedIn request from my deadname, I'm sorry. i hit the wrong button. i have not been hacked.
I hadn't had one since December of 14, when my sister called to let me know Mom had finally let go.
I got one yesterday from a stranded child.
My oldest, Obi-Wan Chrisobi, was visiting folks this summer. He went to KC and saw my dad, went to Chicago and saw a friend, and went to Columbus and spent a couple days with Mudd and his father. (Mudd is in Ohio, taking care of his dad while Sandy is in Montana.)
And late Tuesday evening, he started for Memphis to see his sibs before he went home. He didn't quite make Elizabethtown KY when the transmission on his Chevy Spark gave out. So, at 3 AM, I got up (after 2 hrs of sleep), made U-haul reservations in Nashville, loaded Jon in the car and went. Jonner drove part of the way to Nashville, his first night highway driving.
Why Nashville? Because I didn't know exactly where in Kentucky he was stranded, with no town nearby. It made sense. Until he got a tow in Elizabethtown. Had I been thinking, I would have canceled the Nashville U-haul and gotten one in E-town. I wasn't. And I know Nashville a little, and E-town not at all.
So we got the trailer, and rattled and clanked and jounced 150 miles more.
The boys loaded the car and we got some food at WalMart and headed back home.
It was a long 350 miles.
But we got to Memphis about 7, and dropped the Spark at the Chevy dealership. We went home and I returned the U-haul today.
***
In other news, I may be due for an Eldering. I did not want a croning because I was not yet in menopause. Now I appear to be.
In June of 1980, my period made its first appearance. Thus began a monthly descent into hell.
I spent most of the 90s pregnant or nursing, and my cycle was suppressed.
This June, I spotted for two days.
This month, the full moon is past and the new has come and gone. I always cycle between them.
Nothing.
***
Have also been thinking about the transition. Right now, I'm still hanging out in genderqueer space, and feeling fine about it. Part of me wants desperately to be a tattooed, motor-cycle riding, diesel-driving, badass grandma. Part of me is still "I'm Han fucking Solo and what are you gonna do about it?" These parts are not mutually exclusive.
So for now, I stay in the mushy middle of genderqueer and bisexuality.
***
Also, if you got a LinkedIn request from my deadname, I'm sorry. i hit the wrong button. i have not been hacked.
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
What do you get on my Patreon?
As of today, $5, the cost of a lunch at KFC, gets you
Fruits of Thine--het, paranormal. A secretary has an encounter on a corporate retreat
Illusions of Safety--Urban fantasy, DJ'verse. DJ takes in a MPD street kid to help solve a crime
Nikolai Revenant (novel)--8 Thrones. gay, SF Killer turned file clerk gets trained to help run the world.
Firstfruits--horror. A grieving woman gets some help.
Looking down the Road--paranormal. A trucker witch foresees trouble.
Show your faces--horror. Librarians in the zombie apocalypse
Raising the Dead--gay, contemporary, BDSM. A couple takes to kink to help one cope with professional problems.
Not like other girls--het, horror. Be careful who you pick up at campus halloween parties.
Into Dark Waters, Riding the Nightmare--gay short story collections
Between Despair and Ecstasy--gay, paranormal. A servant is assigned to take care of a very old vampire hunter.
Ain't no easy run--gay, paranormal. A trucker hauling souls to hell goes off-route.
Power in the Blood (novel)--bisexual, Urban fantasy. Vampire apocalypse comes to Memphis
That’s How we roll, Illusions of Safety, Wild Hunt (novel), S is for Succubus--These are all DJ'verse urban fantasy.
Gay Xmas werewolves--what it says. 5 shorts. Includes them vanquishing Cthulhu cultists
Collared Hearts/Frozen Hearts--gay contemporary BDSM, Artist and gallery owner play with power and enjoy the holiday.
8 Days Ablaze--het, cyberpunk. Adina gets a special Hanukkah present.
A Visit from Nikolai--8 Thrones. Nick goes home for the holidays
By the Fire with Care--DJ'verse. DJ and Jinx spend the holiday with a houseful of witches. What could go wrong?
Swimming the Net--gay, cyberpunk. Two captives run the net but find each other.
Wishing Away--gay and straight, fantasy. Twin flower fairies are sent to find aid in defeating a warlord and his sorcerous sister.
Showdown at Yellowstone River--queer Western. Matt Court runs afoul of powerful men and must face down a gunslinger.
A Gift of Scars--8 Thrones, David has a present for Valerio
Barbarossa’s Bitch (novel)--gay, SF. Post-apocalyptic gay biker gangs in Kansas.
A Fool’s Taj Mahal--het, horror. Loneliness after a breakup.
Paying Forfeits--gay, contemporary, kinky. A couple spices up their love-life first with boardgames for forfeits and then with a third.
Fannish Activity--gay, contemporary, HARD BDSM. A guy has the fantasy of his life at a kink con.
Heart of a Forest (novel)--trans Robin Hood. Maid Marion is King Richard's illegitimate son, but doesn't know she's a boy.
Under the Skirts of Sherwood--Robin Hood goes in disguise to Nottingham castle and endures danger to spirit Marion away.
Cherry tart--het, steampunk. On the ship to Io, disgraced Chastity Millwood falls for handsome ship's outrider Ulysses.
Neighbors--horror. The nosy old ladies learn more than they want to know about the new neighbor.
For Love of Etarin--gay SF. Spacer Ruvane steals a pretty dancing boy from his lizard owner and they have adventures.
34 things to read! Some of them anthologies.
plus chances at handcrafts.
Fruits of Thine--het, paranormal. A secretary has an encounter on a corporate retreat
Illusions of Safety--Urban fantasy, DJ'verse. DJ takes in a MPD street kid to help solve a crime
Nikolai Revenant (novel)--8 Thrones. gay, SF Killer turned file clerk gets trained to help run the world.
Firstfruits--horror. A grieving woman gets some help.
Looking down the Road--paranormal. A trucker witch foresees trouble.
Show your faces--horror. Librarians in the zombie apocalypse
Raising the Dead--gay, contemporary, BDSM. A couple takes to kink to help one cope with professional problems.
Not like other girls--het, horror. Be careful who you pick up at campus halloween parties.
Into Dark Waters, Riding the Nightmare--gay short story collections
Between Despair and Ecstasy--gay, paranormal. A servant is assigned to take care of a very old vampire hunter.
Ain't no easy run--gay, paranormal. A trucker hauling souls to hell goes off-route.
Power in the Blood (novel)--bisexual, Urban fantasy. Vampire apocalypse comes to Memphis
That’s How we roll, Illusions of Safety, Wild Hunt (novel), S is for Succubus--These are all DJ'verse urban fantasy.
Gay Xmas werewolves--what it says. 5 shorts. Includes them vanquishing Cthulhu cultists
Collared Hearts/Frozen Hearts--gay contemporary BDSM, Artist and gallery owner play with power and enjoy the holiday.
8 Days Ablaze--het, cyberpunk. Adina gets a special Hanukkah present.
A Visit from Nikolai--8 Thrones. Nick goes home for the holidays
By the Fire with Care--DJ'verse. DJ and Jinx spend the holiday with a houseful of witches. What could go wrong?
Swimming the Net--gay, cyberpunk. Two captives run the net but find each other.
Wishing Away--gay and straight, fantasy. Twin flower fairies are sent to find aid in defeating a warlord and his sorcerous sister.
Showdown at Yellowstone River--queer Western. Matt Court runs afoul of powerful men and must face down a gunslinger.
A Gift of Scars--8 Thrones, David has a present for Valerio
Barbarossa’s Bitch (novel)--gay, SF. Post-apocalyptic gay biker gangs in Kansas.
A Fool’s Taj Mahal--het, horror. Loneliness after a breakup.
Paying Forfeits--gay, contemporary, kinky. A couple spices up their love-life first with boardgames for forfeits and then with a third.
Fannish Activity--gay, contemporary, HARD BDSM. A guy has the fantasy of his life at a kink con.
Heart of a Forest (novel)--trans Robin Hood. Maid Marion is King Richard's illegitimate son, but doesn't know she's a boy.
Under the Skirts of Sherwood--Robin Hood goes in disguise to Nottingham castle and endures danger to spirit Marion away.
Cherry tart--het, steampunk. On the ship to Io, disgraced Chastity Millwood falls for handsome ship's outrider Ulysses.
Neighbors--horror. The nosy old ladies learn more than they want to know about the new neighbor.
For Love of Etarin--gay SF. Spacer Ruvane steals a pretty dancing boy from his lizard owner and they have adventures.
34 things to read! Some of them anthologies.
plus chances at handcrafts.
Sunday, June 24, 2018
planning for the week ahead
After a lovely solstice spent swimming in the lake at Village Creek state park, I have to lay plans for the rest of the days.
Monday:
Bus,
Michaels, 5-930
Tuesday
Bus
Wednesday
Bus
Writing time
Thursday
Bus
Michaels 5-930
Friday
Writing. We hope to finish the Glad Hands edits.
Sat
Michaels 9-3
And June is a wrap.
Monday:
Bus,
Michaels, 5-930
Tuesday
Bus
Wednesday
Bus
Writing time
Thursday
Bus
Michaels 5-930
Friday
Writing. We hope to finish the Glad Hands edits.
Sat
Michaels 9-3
And June is a wrap.
Monday, June 11, 2018
The Need is Great
Not ours, we're fine. Not terrific--summer break is hard on bus drivers--but we're okay. (If you want to help, there's always my Patreon, soon with craft videos)
But there are a lot of people I know who could use any help that can be spared.
Cat Grant, M/M author, is in dire and immediate need. She has back taxes to pay in order to keep her car. Without a car, she cannot work. Anything helps. https://www.gofundme.com/5f66gp4
She's also available as a freelance editor.
https://reedsy.com/cat-grant
Brian Keene, horror author, had an accident while clearing brush and is in a burn unit. He has no health insurance. There is a GoFundMe to help with the medical bills, which are expected to top $$200,000 https://www.gofundme.com/brian-keene-burn-fund
Billy Martin, who wrote vampires in the 90s as Poppy Z. Brite, is trying to get his mother's house livable so he and his husband have a place to live. His mother let the place go during her final illness and both of them are disabled, so they require contracted assistance on the project.
https://www.gofundme.com/6893v-help-us-make-this-house-a-home
Elizabeth Donald is making a major life change and going to grad school this fall, with an eye to teaching journalism. However, she still has a household to support.
She has a Patreon, a photography site with gift shop and will be working as a freelance editor as well.
It's tough times, friends and neighbors. Support what and who you love.
But there are a lot of people I know who could use any help that can be spared.
Cat Grant, M/M author, is in dire and immediate need. She has back taxes to pay in order to keep her car. Without a car, she cannot work. Anything helps. https://www.gofundme.com/5f66gp4
She's also available as a freelance editor.
https://reedsy.com/cat-grant
Brian Keene, horror author, had an accident while clearing brush and is in a burn unit. He has no health insurance. There is a GoFundMe to help with the medical bills, which are expected to top $$200,000 https://www.gofundme.com/brian-keene-burn-fund
Billy Martin, who wrote vampires in the 90s as Poppy Z. Brite, is trying to get his mother's house livable so he and his husband have a place to live. His mother let the place go during her final illness and both of them are disabled, so they require contracted assistance on the project.
https://www.gofundme.com/6893v-help-us-make-this-house-a-home
Elizabeth Donald is making a major life change and going to grad school this fall, with an eye to teaching journalism. However, she still has a household to support.
She has a Patreon, a photography site with gift shop and will be working as a freelance editor as well.
It's tough times, friends and neighbors. Support what and who you love.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
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