There are dumber things I could do than take a vacation in the middle of a pandemic after being out of work for six weeks.
I'm not sure what they are.
But the trip was paid for and reserved. And Disney is scrupulous about its masks and social distancing. So we went.
The only way this trip could have been gayer was if we'd worn glitter, high heels and feather boas.
Sunday, Gabriel and I drove from Memphis to Orlando. 800+ miles. Gabriel drove most of it. My legs were giving me trouble. I suspect I used up 3 months worth of cortisone in 2 weeks.
But we got there, and my scooter was awaiting us in the lobby.
The Days Inn on Polynesian Isle Blvd is a 2 star motel. It had working plumbing, a fridge and microwave, a good pool, was reasonably clean and the beds were free of vermin. That's pretty much what I ask, especially for $30/night. The Wifi was good on my phone, but Gabriel never did get his computer hooked in,
We moved in and I had a nice hot soak.
The water was over chlorinated. I cleaned the brita pitcher, filled our brita bottle, and made tea for chilling.
I bought our bus tickets and we checked our magic bands.
Then we set the alarms and crashed
Monday, we realized my phone had not changed over to Eastern Time.
So we dressed, ate some sausage and cheese balls and packed our snack bag.
I fired up the scooter and we headed to the bus stop a block away. (most convenient) Rather than the $25/day Disney parking, and fighting traffic, we rode in comfort for $8/day.
Then came the first hitch. Buses ran to Animal Kingdom and Hollywood and Epcot from the Polynesian resort, about 3/4 of a mile away. We were already overheated and tired when we caught the bus.
So it was through a second temperature screen and a second bag check. (About 5-10 minutes all told)
And we were in.
We hiked to the back of the park and caught the Kilimanjaro Safari.
Our driver Axel was pleasant to listen to, knowledgeable and a good driver. I want his job. We saw a lot of animals and an ostrich got so close I could have petted it, if I didn't value my fingers.
After the Safari, I had a Dole Whip, with rum so dark it tasted like the molasses.
I caught the pin collecting bug. I now have Maleficent and her raven, a gingerbread Millennium Falcon, a rainbow castle, Robin Hood and Little John and Hop Low (the mushroom from Fantasia, more about that later)
Gibbon Island in the Kali queue
Then it was over to Kali River Rapids. We got very wet. The guy working the disability dock wasn't there so they sent us around again. We were thoroughly soaked by the end of the ride and had laughed ourselves silly.
The line for Expedition Everest was terribly long, but I waited in it with Gabriel until we reached the entrance of the ride. Then I chickened out. I took a turn through Hester and Chesters DinoLand USA and waited for him in the smoking section.
After a couple cigarettes, we decided to eat and do one last thing, Flight of Passage.
We had lunch at Satu'li Canteen in Pandora. The food was amazing, possibly the best thing we ate all week,
The line for Flight of Passage was brutal, stretching so far back into Africa, I could have had another dole whip with rum at Tamu Tamu. and someone gave us the informationa bout how disability passes worked.
But we got in and on, and the lady went the extra pixie-dust step. I am fat, but I am solid fat and not squishy fat. Gabriel squished into the vehicle. We had to work to get mine locked and it wasn't comfortable. But then the ride started and it was ALL worth it, line, squashing and everything. Best 4 minutes of Gabriel's life.
We hiked out, my scooter battery dying by inches. Then a bus to the Poly and the long walk to Ticket and Transportation. We caught the 56 bus and went home. I soaked and we giggled about the day. I made sure the phone was on Eastern time.
Tuesday was Magic Kingdom. This was much easier. We took the Ferry Boat and strolled a lot. We checked in with Disability services and got registered.
Breakfast was Starbucks on Main Street USA
Thoth sent us a messenger.
Then it was off to Fantasyland.
We rode Peter Pan's Flight, which was better than the Youtube videos because it was darker.
Small World was a walk on (almost, maybe a 5 minute wait), so we walked. Gabriel gawked saying he didn't know there were this many animatronics ever.
Goofy's barnstormer was a fun little roller coaster and we laughed our heads off on the tea cups, which were about 30 second too short.
In Tomorrowland, we got a return time for Space Mountain, had some water and a pepper jack stuffed pretzel, and waited.
Space mountain has you transfer from scooter to wheelchair. There were a lot of ramps. Gabriel was having trouble on a downslope so I said I had it and he should let go. He did and I barreled to the bottom yelling "Banzai! Coming Through, Gravity Works!" There was no one between me and the bottom but the teens on the other side of the rail looked worried at the crazy lady in rainbow mouse-ears.
I still hate Space Mountain. I screamed all the way through, getting shrill and panicky toward the end. Gabriel cackled in my ear like a mad scientist whose death ray just tested out lethal.
We went for a smoke so I could calm down. We signed up for Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom but didn't play. Next time. There was a parade, and Santa looked down from the float and waved and announced "I like your ears," to us. Made Gabriel's day.
Pirates of the Caribbean was not what I remember, but I loved it. Gabriel bought a hat for Rowan, and didn't get a bag. I ended up wearing it,
We went for lunch at Pecos Bill's. I had the nachos. It was good but unremarkable. I chickened out on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, so we got a return time for the Haunted Mansion. We made a visit to Memento Mori, and I got a Madame Leota key chain.. I loved it, even if we did miss the portrait room by taking the disability entrance. Gabriel was meh. But he was overheated and tired by then and was expecting something rather ghastlier.
Bert there flirted with Gabriel. Peter Pan informed me Captain Hook was looking for me
Wednesday was our day off.
We slept in, swam for a long time and then went to Old Town for a photo session and a Ferris Wheel ride. Got a little screwed on that. We went around twice.
Dinner was Buca di Beppo which was about Olive Garden level.
We spent a quiet evening in, and Gabriel finished reading a book. I mended his cargo shorts and made a couple of masks, neither of which fit.
Thursday:
This was the day we had waited for. We were up at 630 and Gabriel scored a spot on Rise of the Resistance for us, group 77. We took our time, had omelets and packed up.
We didn't get out of Black Spire Outpost all day. We played the game on Play Disney Parks. GAbriel is now a Major in the Resistance.
We flew the Millennium Falcon. SQUEE! I stepped into the cockpit and promptly thumped the area over the entrance. It was one party per unit, so we piloted. We were pretty dreadful at it. But when we made the jump to light speed, I knew I was living one of the best moments of my life.
We had lunch at Docking Bay 7: Felucian garden platter (plant based meatballs and hummus), smoked kaadu ribs with slaw and a muffin and a Baatu-bon. It was all really excellent. The plant meatballs were tasty. The smoked ribs were an experience. The slaw was red cabbage with a vinegar base and with the rub was a superbly satisfying pair. The baatu-bon was chocolate cake with a coffee custard and purple vanilla coating. Very good. Not sure what the green and yellow are but they added to things tremendously.
We shopped and I got my Spira. I promised it to Hermes if he helped this trip happen. It is in his offering bowl right now.
It was time for the big ride. It was a bit of a walk. The Imperials were surprisingly careful of me in my scooter. "You are all under arrest for interrogation. Those who can walk on their own first. You on the transport, follow." I was pulling the "Cocky spacer" routine as much as I could while on a scooter. "Yeah, birthday in an interrogation chamber, probably not the most fun way to spend it." The lieutenant said "If you'd been that wise to start with you wouldn't be." I gave him the one sided smile,"Things are tough all over for the independent businessman."
The ride was awesome and terrifying. Gabriel had a moment at the end when he realized "Oh crap, this is an escape pod." That's when it launched. I screamed a little.
We came down, giddy as thunder.
Gabriel went shopping and I caught the conference call with my family. Grandbaby is so big.
After a dinner of Ronto Roasters, in the emptiest Disney Restaurant I've ever seen, we decided to call it a night. I had a brain wave and we took the bus to the Grand Floridian and the monorail to the Ticket center. Saved a lot of walking
Friday was Epcot.
I wanted to try the skyliner and the first leg went swimingly. Then the line at the Caribbean Beach Resort was half an hour long. In the sun. Gabriel was done before we got there.
We had an early lunch at the Coral Reef. It was very good: shrimp and cheese grits with andouille succotash The view of the aquarium was breath taking.
After lunch, we got our return time for Spaceship Earth and did some shopping the in pin trader store. I saw Hop Low on the trade board and asked that he be held. I went in and bought a blind pack (a mystery pin for $6) and brought it out to trade. It was a Baymax backpack and Gabriel wanted it. So e went in and bought a blind pack. It was an old style Donald Duck, and I got my Hop Low. He's my favorite in Fantasia.
Spaceship Earth was all right. A bit Eurocentric and a little dated. but a good ride nonetheless.
We rode The Seas with Nemo and Friends, which was a walk-on, and made our way to The Land. Soarin was amazing. It had a wait, so we rode Living With the Land. It was interesting about farming and seeing the places where they actually grow the Disney vegetables was fascinating..
Canada did little to grab us. Neither did the UK. We explored Morocco, but didn't buy anything. Gabriel was tempted by a blue fez.
France had the Grand Marnier slush and the Buche de Noel. Both of which were terrific. The L'Chaim stand had glorious smoked Salmon and the best pastrami ever.
Japan had the New years noodle, which were very nice. And we shopped in the huge department store. I came out a scarf, chopsticks and a lucky cat. Gabriel got much of his Yule shopping done.
In the US pavilion, we caught the end of the Voices of Liberty performance and enjoyed a sweet potato funnel cake. The Regal Eagle Smokehouse is very smoky but I was too full even as my mouth watered.
Italy and Germany held little interest as we were exhausted.
We went into the big Chinese shop, which had some nice things. I came out with a peacock comb and mirror set that almost made me cry.
In Norway, we visited the stave church and paid our respects to the Norse pantheon. Gabriel wasn't sure about it but was glad he went in.
We ignored Mexico, except to look at the decorations as we left.
And then, as we were having the last smoke before travel, we discovered where to plug the scooter in! We could have charged it all week.
Now we know for next time.
We took the bus to the Grand Floridian (Epcot monorail was under repair) and monorailed to the ticket center.
A last bus ride home, and we loaded the car for the trip to Memphis.
