I've been working a haunted house this season and having a terrific time doing it.
Even being decapitated by his own clowns can't keep Phineas Featherstone down. Revived by Electrification! Motivated by pure evil! The show must go on at Featherstone's Autumnal Phantasmagoria!
Trapped, chained in his electrified wheelchair for a hundred years, Phineas has set all his mad cannibal clowns loose in the Fearzone, and possibly a tiger as well. Or maybe he's joking about the kitty treats...
I was a breather scene. A moment for them to catch their breath, regroup after what I call the Zombie Picnic Park and before they ended up in the woods where the clowns and cultists and chainsaws scared them silly.
"Sit on old Phineas' lap pretty girl, and he'll tell your future." (no takers for that)
But last night...
A young lady complained that a cast member had slapped her bottom.
She went to tell her brother and he and several buddies showed up with long guns to see if they could make the fake blood real. The punchline: yes, she did get hit on the butt. By a tree branch.
My first clue was one of our security guys asking "How fast can you get out of those chains?" and he briefed me. By the time he was done, I was out. "Call me Houdini," I said.
We headed for the building to take cover. I was in the picnic park, the big empty flat back yard, with the enormous yard light, when the first shot cracked.
Al, our assistant manager bellowed for everyone to get down. I hit the dirt. And I scared the daylights out of Ducky, who is 15 and had decided they were my caretaker. (Daddy's friend doesn't walk well. I've got him!) They thought I'd been shot.
Al shouted for everyone to get into the woods. Another shot cracked.
I got to a crawl to get under the Caution tape and got up. Ducky got me by the hand and we went into the woods. I fell once, despite the help. Ro, Al's roommate, and Charlie, Al's 14 yr old son were with us. We found a sheltered hollow, down-slope of a large log. We had to work to make Charlie stay with us rather than look for his dad. We reminded him that Al was responsible for everyone, but we needed to keep him, Charlie, safe.
I told the kids I was going to ward us. They didn't know about wards. I said "I'm a witch, you're getting a force field." I put up a fence ward and a dome ward. We lay quiet and still. I could see out of the woods. As I lay there, with my friend and covenmate, and friend's kids, I could see out of the woods. I have crummy vision but excellent night vision and I'd been out in the dark for hours.
I saw a man with a long gun walking past the edge. I made sure I wasn't seen and whispered that everything was okay.
We lay quietly, breathing slowly and deeply, staying calm, until the sirens and lights announced the police. I tried getting to my feet and fell. I struggled back up, took two steps and tripped on something. This time I yelled. I lay still and fussed a while because this was the fourth time tonight I had ended up on the ground unwillingly. And it HURT. They called for police aid, saying we had a person down. As I cussed my way back to my feet, the cops found us. I was just vertical and they demanded we get on the ground with out hands visible.
"You gotta be kidding, I just got up!" But I went down anyway and kept my empty hands visible.
Once they ascertained the four of us were no threat, they checked to see if we were all right. They tried to help me up, but I ended up having to do it myself. One of them spotted me to make sure I didn't fall on the way out of the woods. The other went and got my wheelchair.
I settled in and waited. Al hugged his kids long and hard, and all of them hugged Ro and me. Our 6'7" chainsaw clown was having PTSD and clung to me for a while. My blanket made the rounds to warm and comfort everyone. Charlie had a panic attack, but Al is a paramedic. And the guys with equipment helped.
When we were ready to go, I wrestled the wheelchair into the Focus and drove to Cat's. I briefed Cat and Gabriel on the way. Al and Ro took the kids home.
Cat had food for me, and we went to Gabriel's place to wait for Al and Ro to get home. I changed clothes and ate and tried not to crash from the adrenaline. When I came home, I showered and went to bed, but Mudd was awake and I told him everything as he cuddled me.
Today, I had to go see Olivia who needed her Mommy. I also resigned from the Haunt. My legs hurt so much. My right knee is hot through my pants from inflammation. My arms ache. I am cold and even when I'm too hot, I'm cold.
So, Phineas Featherstone's Autumnal Phantasmagoria folds its tents and steals into the night, leaving behind the zombie picnic park and some blood stained concrete.
